Everyone Is Beautiful In Their Own Way… Except Me

 

I have this theory that everyone is beautiful in their own way. It’s not an uncommon theory, I hear people say it all the time. To me it means some people are physically beautiful, while others may have a beautiful soul or personality. Sounds cheesy, I know.

Unfortunately, I have this theory for everyone but myself. I just can’t see the beauty that I hold. Sure, I could ask my parents and friends and they would say, “model” or “gorgeous”. But they have to say those things, right? Like, I’m not going to tell my friend they are ugly. That’s just mean. And don’t parents always think their children are the most beautiful things on the planet?

I know I lack self confidence and I’ve always been like that. Thanks, anxiety. I have a habit of comparing myself to models, celebrities, and peers. It’s not easy going through life trying to make sure you are as good as others. I can’t even grasp how people have hundreds of selfie and body shots on Instagram. I have to take about 35 pictures of myself before I find one that is considered ‘OK’. Forget about finding 100!

I hate saying it but, I care what people think of me. I shouldn’t… but I haven’t gotten to the point yet where I am comfortable in my own skin.

It’s So Much Easier to Complain Than Be Grateful

It’s so easy for me to complain about things. I will complain about my food, clothes, looks, work etc. It comes naturally to me, I’ve always been a complainer. Being grateful on the other hand is so much more difficult. Of course I am happy that I have a roof over my head, and a supportive family but I definitely don’t think about that often. In the past month my parents have been extremely helpful during a very difficult part of my life and it only recently hit me how grateful I am to have them. Do I really know how lucky I am to have such an accepting family?

I have the tendency to see the flaws in everything. I am not a super negative person, but I just notice flaws more than good traits. I am most harsh when it comes to myself. I will find all these ways to complain about myself from looks to personality. I tend to skip over the things I am good at like baking. I really am my harshest critic.

I wonder what has made me like this, I kind of have a theory that those in my generation are probably similar to me. I think we are surrounded by so much technology and social media. When I go on Facebook and Instagram I tend to notice that I am comparing myself to others. I’m sure others do that too, but when people are constantly posting pictures and statuses about their lives it’s hard not to!

I hope that one day I can learn to be more grateful and not focus on the negatives too much.

I am Glued to my Smartphone and I’m Missing Out on Life.

I am glued to my phone. I am always looking at Facebook, Snapchat or my texts. I feel so much more comfortable having it around. It helps me avoid awkward situations, keeps me entertained, and prevents me from getting lost on the confusing city roads. Sounds great, right? Nope.

I feel like I’ve missed out on so much because of my phone. Instead of enjoying a nice meal with friends I feel compelled to take a picture and add a filter. Why? So my Snapchat followers think I have a life! It doesn’t make sense why anyone needs to see a picture of my coffee cup but somehow I am convinced I need to snap a shot. I’m surprised people even look at my Snapstory.

I have even had my parents ask me what I’m doing on my phone all the time. I used think to myself that they are just an older generation and don’t understand the need for it. I started to become more conscious about my phone use and to be honest I was shocked at how many times in a span of 10 minutes I felt the need to look at it. Even when I’m at a stop light I really just want to grab it and do a quick Facebook check, it’s stupid. What could possibly be important on Facebook that I need to look at it while driving?

I seriously need to put my phone away and focus on what’s around me. I don’t need to know what Kevin ate for breakfast this morning or how Charlotte’s day is going (Sorry to any of my Facebook friends who read this!). I need to live in the moment because I want to have memories of doing fun activities and not just sitting around on my phone.

Stop Pitting Women Against Each Other!

Everywhere I look, celebrity news, Facebook, Instagram, in schools and at work places I notice that women and girls are pitted against each other. It feels like we are being encouraged to compete rather than help each other out.

Why does it matter who wore an outfit better? Why does it matter who is thinner? Why does it matter who is more successful? Or who is more lady-like? I’m tired of the constant comparisons between women. Does it really matter whose butt is better between Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian? I don’t think so! It just seems so irrelevant making women feel like they need to outdo one another. Life doesn’t need to be about being better than everyone else around you.

I notice this happening on Instagram quote a bit. Girls will post pictures of themselves and usually the comments will be positive, but occasionally you get the rude comment which declares the person as ugly or fat. Why does it necessary to bring someone else down? Instead you should be encouraging that person to be the best that they can be. As women we are doing ourselves no justice if we don’t work together. How are we supposed to overcome sexism when we can’t even accept one another?

I don’t know if this happens with men too. I always envisioned men being a little bit more collective. For example the term “bromance”, is there a female equivalent to this? It just seems like the bond between males seems to be stronger than females. Of course this is just speculation, I would need a males input on this!

Why We Need More Blogs And Less Facebook..

I’ve been using Facebook probably since 2007. It’s changed a great deal. Most of my news feed is now filled with selfies and memes, with the occasional interesting intellectual article. It’s great for keeping in contact with people but otherwise I pretty much avoid it. My life isn’t that interesting anyway, you know?

I think more people should get into blogging. It doesn’t even matter if you have viewers, it’s just a great way to express yourself. I feel like my blog represents me so much more than my Facebook. When people ask me for my Facebook link I really just want to direct them to my blog instead. Of course I always oblige and give them the link to my very bare Facebook page.

I love being able to write down my thoughts, as silly, random, and incoherent as they can be. I also love seeing other blogs, I never imagined that there would be so many people out there that thought like me! My favorite part of all of this is that these blogs are from all over the world. Not only is it fun to do but I’m sure it’s far more productive than being on Facebook. I have a finishing product when I’m done blogging, I don’t have a finishing product when I’m done Facebook stalking (besides having unnecessary information on the victim).

Maybe we should get kids in school to start blogging. I wish I had a class on blogging, I really could have used that instead of my art history classes!

I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Master The ‘Selfie’

I suck at being photogenic. I’m always either squinting, blinking, looking the wrong way, have hair blowing in my face or something stuck in my teeth. Photos really aren’t my thing. I’ve even had people tell me that I look much better in person and that photos do me no justice. I mean, thanks I guess? I guess that’s better than vice versa.

I simply don’t know how to look good in a photo. I have a really big smile so I think it looks super awkward in pictures. My hair is always a mess (if you read my last post, you would know this) so that doesn’t help. I always seem to have a stain on my shirt or have something out of place too. I try to always make sure that I am put together but it really never seems to work out. I will usually take about 20 photos before giving up. My phone is full of failed selfies.

I finally got a Snapchat thinking that I would be able to learn to take better selfies. Well, that hasn’t worked. I pretty much just take pictures of my food or the scenery. I think that may be why people just don’t even look at my snap stories anymore. They are so boring.

I always see those beauty and fashion blogs and I think to myself how cool it would be to run one of those! But then I remember that I would actually have to take pictures of my face, or me in outfits! I also couldn’t do one of those fitness blogs for the same reason, no one would be able to see any progress I would have made!

Maybe one day I’ll be able to perfect the selfie. Hah, who am I kidding?

I Want to Spend My Friday Night Watching Netflix.

I’m an introvert and pretty shy. I will avoid hanging out with friends in public because I’d much rather be chilling at home. It’s not that I’m super socially awkward, I really just get tired when I have to socialize too much. It’s exhausting.

Pretty much all my life I have liked to spend my Friday night’s at home. I will often order pizza, and then spend my evening watching movies or TV shows. It sounds sort of lame, I get it. I see everyone else posting pictures on Facebook of them at fancy restaurants and clubs so sometimes I feel like I’m missing out. Should I even worry about that? It’s not like I’m going to become like a hermit or anything.

There are times I decide to go out on Friday. Thanks to my anxiety disorder it usually ends up with me being super anxious during the whole ordeal and just wishing I could be at home cuddling with my dog and sitting on the couch with a blanket and remote in hand. I wish I could enjoy being out more, I really do. Sometimes I think it makes me come off as lazy. Like really? I’m in my 20’s and I’d rather be at home than walking around the city. Who knows.

 

How does one even adult?

 

How do I adult? I just don’t get it. Why does everyone else seem like they have their life together? Is it like I missed some college class called “Adult 101”?

If I had it my way, I would probably sit at home all day watching Netflix or going out to restaurants every meal just so I can try something new yummy food. I guess I lack wanting any responsibility and yet still want the independence. I seriously did ONE responsible today (went to a much needed doctor’s appointment) and rewarded myself by buying a mini cheesecake. I should probably have more faith in myself.

Now that I’m a college graduate I’m ready to launch my own life but I feel like I am terribly lacking all the tools do so. How do I buy myself a car and make sure I’m not being ripped off? What is a mortgage? How do I do my taxes properly? Should I move across the country to be closer to this boy? I mean I guess I could Google all these questions but why can’t they teach us this in school? Forget my astronomy class… this is what I need to know!

Of course I could ask my parent’s but they have booming careers, PhDs, and are always on the go. I don’t think they need to know how utterly lazy and lost I am.

I just hope that there’s others my age (and older) who are equally confused!

Thanks Facebook, I know I’m unpopular.

 

How do people get 50+ likes on their posts? Seriously. If I post something I know it’ll probably get 6 likes tops, and most of those likes will be from my relatives. I don’t even know why I care about likes since it’s such an insignificant part of my life. It’s not like this is going to be something I can list under the accomplishment section of my resume. On top of that, I’m an introvert by nature so I post once in a blue moon.

I sit around and spend hours on my phone scrolling through my news feed looking at ridiculously photogenic pictures of people, memes, and the occasional “support my trip to Italy!” posts. It’s not that I even find the majority of stuff being posted interesting but it almost makes me feel like I’m being somewhat social. Or at least as social as I want to be. I’m the kind of person that wants to have small gatherings, sit around watch movies, and have takeout.

Now, don’t even get me started on when my birthday comes around. I seriously consider deactivating my Facebook that day because I don’t want to be reminded how unpopular I am. My sister will get maybe 70 happy birthday posts but I’ll be lucky to get 12. Again, why do I care? I am surrounded by great people and I’m not bored of my life. I think it just makes me feel like I might be missing out on some things. Not everyone in their 20’s has to love going to clubs, getting drunk, and partying, right?

Perhaps I’m overthinking this too much and everything on Facebook is more of a “show” people are putting on for the world. For the most part I am content living in my little introverted bubble.