Tag: hope

I’ll Flourish With Or Without Your Help!

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I depend way too much on others for my happiness and success. Hearing the sentence, “Good luck surviving without me!” during a break up is like a punch to the gut. I feel like if I was left on my own I would just crumble because I need the support from others. I like to think of myself as independent; when it comes down to it I lean others. This is partially from my anxiety, it gets exhausting dealing with it on my own.

So, what happens when these people leave my life? What if we get into a terrible fight and they walk out on me? I want to be positive that I will be able to get through it. I want to know that I can be successful and strong without the help of others. I can’t depend on others for my happiness, motivation, and security. Because let’s face it… people aren’t going to be there for you 24/7.

I don’t know if others feel this way. I’ve never heard any of my friends talk about this. Would you have trouble flourishing in life if your friend/significant other/family member disappeared from your life?

It’s Hard to See Light When You’re Surrounded by Darkness 

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I  don’t usually post this type of thing but I feel like this might be cathartic. The last several days have felt long, tiring, and painful. I would wake up and count down the hours till I could get back to bed. The anxiety and sadness comes in waves, sometimes I’m alright and other times it feels like I’m drowning. I’m just trying to keep my head above the water.

I get tired of hearing people say to work on strategies to overcome these feelings. Of course I should be doing that, but I’m too freaking exhausted. It just feels like there’s a weight lying on my chest. Weights on my shoulders that sink me down into the ground.

I know there’s light at the end of this tunnel I am in. It’s just pushing myself to get to the that light, that isn’t easy. I want to see all the positives in my life but it feels like I have this gloomy shadow following me around.

Hopefully I get out of this funk and if any of my readers are in this too, I hope you feel better!

Everyone has their own battles to face…. so don’t judge!

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There’s some people that seem like they are happy 24/7 and to be quite honest it annoys me at times. This is mostly because I simply can’t be that way, I just don’t know how they are always cheerful. I had one friend in particularly that was overly perky and it just drove me crazy. What I didn’t know was that she was facing so many personal issues, I was so quick to judge. I assumed just because she was smiling it meant she was actually happy!

This seems like a pretty basic concept to grasp but I think it’s easier said than done. It’s so easy to look at that beautiful popular girl and forget that she may be facing her own problems. Even for me, I look very studious and put together but on the inside yet I struggle daily with my anxiety. I don’t blame others for not realizing my “battle” but it just goes to show that you can’t judge a book by its cover (as cliche as that sounds).

I think we are so quick to judge individuals. We automatically assume that if someone seems sad or quiet they must be going through something difficult. If someone is smiling then everything must be all right. It’s so much deeper than that. So, before being jealous of my friends “perfect lives” I’ll consider the fact that they are probably facing their own battles whether big or small.

It’s So Much Easier to Complain Than Be Grateful

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It’s so easy for me to complain about things. I will complain about my food, clothes, looks, work etc. It comes naturally to me, I’ve always been a complainer. Being grateful on the other hand is so much more difficult. Of course I am happy that I have a roof over my head, and a supportive family but I definitely don’t think about that often. In the past month my parents have been extremely helpful during a very difficult part of my life and it only recently hit me how grateful I am to have them. Do I really know how lucky I am to have such an accepting family?

I have the tendency to see the flaws in everything. I am not a super negative person, but I just notice flaws more than good traits. I am most harsh when it comes to myself. I will find all these ways to complain about myself from looks to personality. I tend to skip over the things I am good at like baking. I really am my harshest critic.

I wonder what has made me like this, I kind of have a theory that those in my generation are probably similar to me. I think we are surrounded by so much technology and social media. When I go on Facebook and Instagram I tend to notice that I am comparing myself to others. I’m sure others do that too, but when people are constantly posting pictures and statuses about their lives it’s hard not to!

I hope that one day I can learn to be more grateful and not focus on the negatives too much.

There Will Always Be Someone Prettier, Smarter, and Wealthier Than You

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Striving to be better than everyone else will not work. Simply because there will always be someone “better” than us. Sure, I may be smart but that doesn’t mean that just because I’m not the smartest person in my group of friends I am suddenly not good enough. I struggle a lot with comparing myself to others. This tends to leave me very anxious or depressed. It’s hard to remember that you should only focus on being the best you, not trying to be better than everyone around you.

It’s fine to use others as motivation. If I see someone who dresses particularly well that may motivate me to want to be more like her. I just have to be careful not to sit around and think to myself, “Wow, I wish I could look like her. It sucks being ugly!”. What good will that do? None.

This was a hard lesson to learn. I used to remember telling my parents about the grades or activities other students did at my school. I remember their responses always being along the lines of, “Why does it matter what the other kids are doing?”. I understand much more now why they would say that, I should really just be focusing on my own growth and strength.

To this day I still catch myself getting down because I see all my peers on social media putting forth their “perfect” lives. I just have to tell myself that I am happy for their success, but I need to work on creating my own path.

Don’t Tell Someone who is Depressed to “Just be Happy”

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Although I’m not struggling with depression at the moment this line has always irked me. I try to be very careful to not say it to anyone I know. I understand that people’s intentions are good but this line simply does not help. In fact it will probably make someone feel worse. It’s almost as if you are invalidating their feelings. If it was so easy to “just be happy” then we wouldn’t be depressed in the first place!

This also happens a lot with my anxiety. I’ll be jittery and sweating while concentrating on fending off a panic attack. People will tell me to “calm down”. Now, do they think that suddenly I’ll be like “Oh okay, yup suddenly I’m not anxious anymore!”. It doesn’t work that way. Our brains have been programmed after many years to spin in a vicious cycle.  Simply saying a statement like that wont make a difference, our minds are too loud.

I’d much rather prefer someone to tell me they understand my feelings. I would much rather have someone tell me that they are here with me no matter what I go through. I would also much rather they tell me that I’m not crazy or a terrible person for thinking in the ways that I do. Of course everyone is different. Some people may benefit from being told to just cheer up. I would just hope that before you tell someone that, you try to understand how difficult it is to control the negative emotions and thoughts that constantly run through our heads.